From: goatboy 
Newsgroups: alt.homosexual
Subject: Queer basher from Never-Never Land
Date: Sun, 18 Jun 95 23:20:01 -0500

Queer Basher from Never-Never Land
By Goatboy
North of LaFayette Indiana (Home of Perdue University) a few miles
before the interstate, is a secluded rest park along the banks of the
Wabash river.   This park for years has had the reputation as a hot
spot for  encounters  of the queer kind.   The place was often refered
to as Fairy-prarie, The Pickle Park, and Lolly-pop Junction by the
truckers.   For me it was an entertaining place just to hang out and
practice on my mandolin.   One evening around Halloween, I happened to be
sitting on a pic-nic table jammin' away. I was alone it was very peaceful.
I had been there about an hour when a compact car drove in and parked 20
feet from where I was seated.  A young man got out. I heard three beer
bottles hit the pavment.  He staggerd to the closest tree and took a long
piss.  As he finished he noticed me sitting there. As he approached, I
could tell very clearly that this this fat ugly slob of a perdue student was
drunk off his ass.  He stopped three yards from me, took a big swig off
his BUD and asked;
I unstraped my mandolin and laid it in it's case, looked him straight
in the eye and said,
"Now, What do you THINK!"
He wiped his nose with his free hand and said,
"You Look like a FAGGOT"
"I do, HUH???!", I said.
"You Know what I DO with faggots----I beat the SHIT out o'eM!! An' I'm
Now my dear readers, if any of you are gay you may find the situation
in which yours truely has found himself----very typical---Not so my
friends!  For *This* guy was flawlessly dressed as PETER PAN!!!
YES!! (No I was NOT on drugs---This REALLY happened!) Little dark green
pointed cap,  a light fringed coat with leaves of felt sewn on, green
tights, curly toed slippers with bells on the ends.
Well, he was in no shape to "beat up" on anybody.  I figured, 'bout
the only thing he could do was sprinkle me with Fairy Dust. I slowly
slid off the table, (Wow! a good chance to try out my new muscles!)
made a fist and was tensely rubbing it in my other palm as I ever
so carefully approached him.
All I could say was;
"Honey!, I hope you brought TINKERBELL along-- 'cause yer gonna need
some help!"
Suddenly, two women jumped out of the car, grabbed this guy by the ears,
dragged him, and pummled him into the back seat, and in a matter of
seconds, they were gone.
Hmmm!, I thought.
Just *believe* in Fairies, That's all it takes!
                              THE END
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